


your big, green rage monster body is a wonderland (and i'd like to use my political science-y hands)

by Knope



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, everything is sweet and peaceful and people do science and drink coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8564455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knope/pseuds/Knope
Summary: She’s not embarrassed of what she’s been doing- shamelessly flirting with him, asking him out like a randy, overconfident schoolboy- but she can’t deny that a sliver of rejection has snuck through, just enough to make her keep her distance recently. Well, that and Tony told her to. 'What,' she’d guffawed in his face, 'Treat the rage monster mean, keep him keen?'Tony just grinned at her, spinning a screwdriver in her direction. 'Something like that, Lewis.'





	

_I'm too old for you,_ he tells her.

( _He’s_ too old. _He’s_ too dangerous. What about her part in all of this?)

She just tells him, _this isn’t a fucking Taylor Swift song, Bruce. I’m not 15 and naive and sleeping with John Mayer or whatever._

_...I don’t know who that is._

_Taylor Swift?_

_The other one._

_See?_ She says with a hint of victory in her voice (a hint that’s mixed with a lot of desperation, he can’t help but note). _You need me!_

Bruce just looks at her sadly.

* * *

 

 _Today’s the day, Bruce!_ Darcy calls out loudly, entering his lab without a hint of trepidation.

Which is bad because there’s _smoke_ pouring out through the gap between the bottom of the door and the floor.

 _Darcy,_  he sighs and tries not to actively groan. _Darcy you can’t just-_

And then he notices what she’s wearing.

Not the usual jeans and semi-clean t-shirt- _I’m saving the environment by not washing so much, honestly, Bruce._

No, instead she’s in a pretty purple summer dress, her hair let-down with a little bit of make-up on.

And he knows that this is supposed to make him feel more attracted, that it’s meant to make him say _yes_ to all of the dates that she’s been asking him out on, but if anything, it just makes her seem younger in his eyes, playing dress up to try and win over the boy that she foolishly likes.

(And it’s a foolish like indeed.)

He’s about to tell her that she looks beautiful; that she needs to leave; that he misses her jeans with the chemical spill on them that he still worries about being so close to her skin, but then-

 _FIRE IN THE HOLE,_  Tony yells over the intercom system from the next lab over, the wall between the two suddenly breaking down, leaving Darcy sprawled out in a plaster- ruined dress and Bruce furiously counting down from 100 trying to breathe slowly in a still-intact corner of the lab, because otherwise- _otherwise_ \- there’s going to be another, much bigger problem here than a science experiment gone wrong.

Although really, isn’t that exactly what Bruce is? A science experiment gone wrong?

And then yes, Tony’s crawling through the massive hole in the wall and making obnoxious comments that are just making Bruce angrier and his heart beat even faster, but then-

But then Darcy’s next to him, taking his hand and telling him quietly that he’s fine, he’s fine, honestly, _you’re fine, Bruce._

And then, like she’s realized something particularly _simple_ , she tells him, **_I’m_** _fine, I’m fine too, Bruce; not a scratch, ok, so you can calm down,_ and she’s practically cooing as she takes his head in her hands, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his mouth a thin, distressed line.

 _What’s the opposite of kryptonite?_ Tony quips from near the hole in the wall, and Bruce can practically _feel_ Darcy throwing him a look.

But it’s funny, because Tony sounds _curious_ not sarcastic, and vaguely, at the back of his mind, Bruce realizes what a truly bad thing that is, for Tony to be curious about his and Darcy’s relationship.

But as of now, he’s a little busy focusing on trying not to kill everyone in the lab.

* * *

Things come to a head on a Tuesday

 _Terrible day, Tuesday,_ Tony says idly as he messes around with something that Bruce would rather not ask about in his lab. Well, it’s both of their labs now that the wall has been fully torn down.

Bruce has suspicions that the explosion happened on purpose.

 _Tuesday,_ Tony says again. _Right in the middle of the week, worse than Monday because at least on Monday you’ve had Saturday and Sunday to prepare for the hellishness of a mundane Monday._

 _Tony,_ Bruce muses, _What on earth is mundane about your life?_

 _I’m glad you asked!_ He says gleefully, throwing down his tools, turning around and taking off his goggles. _You, Bruce Banner, **you** are what is mundane about my life. You and your constant pity party. Yes you’re a science experiment of a man, a monster, a big green hulk that no one will love... But that’s not true, is it? Because I know someone who is halfway there to loving you if you’d just meet her in the middle._

 _Drop it._ Bruce tells him, turning away from Tony and turning away from the _conversation_.

 _Don’t be **boring** , Bruce, _Tony says, and it feels like a warning more than anything.

* * *

He coughs, standing awkwardly in the door to Jane’s lab. His hands are full- with a pot of coffee and a pair of mugs hooked through his fingers- but she can almost feel him wanting to nervously wring out the hands that are holding out his peace offering.

She’s not embarrassed of what she’s been doing- shamelessly flirting with him, asking him out like a randy, overconfident schoolboy- but she can’t deny that a sliver of rejection has snuck througH, just enough to make her keep her distance recently.

Well, that and Tony told her to.

 _What_ , she’d guffawed in his face, _treat the rage monster mean, keep him keen?_

Tony just grinned at her, spinning a screwdriver in her direction. _Something like that, Lewis._

Well. Something like that indeed.

She thinks about keeping it up- teasing him a little more, making a smart remark or referring to him as _Doctor Banner_ \- But one look at that face and his posture, half way out the door before he’s even in, and she just can’t.

 _I thought you didn’t drink coffee_ , she offers gently, walking around her desk.

He licks his lips.

_I don’t, but you do._

She smiles.

* * *

 

They're in bed one lazy, Sunday morning when she begins scrambling around in her drawer for her phone. 

 _What are you doing_ , he murmurs, sleep in his voice as he wraps his arms around her and attempts to pull her back to his side. 

She paws at his hands and ignores his stubble working its way up her neck. 

 _I'm on official business, Doctor Banner,_ she admonishes him. 

 _Oh?_ He asks, eyebrows raised against her skin. 

 _Oh yes_ , she tells him, tapping on her phone.  _I promised to educate you on the culture of the modern world, and I just remembered that you still don't know who John Mayer is._

 _Well,_ he says, finally managing to turn her over onto her back, arms braced on either side of her face as he looks down at her, smile as easy as she's ever seen it, _thank god you're here, then._

(He regrets that when she wont stop crooning  _Your body is a wonderrrrrlannnnnddddd, Bruceeeeee_ , _your body is a wonderrrr i'll use my haaaaannnddssss.)_

(Until he invites her to put her money where her mouth is, that is.)

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (so i know john mayer isn't exactly ~modern~ but a) i've had this fic unfinished in my computer for so. goddamn. long. and b) darcy seems like she'd love this kind of vaguely washed up reference lol)


End file.
